Love Thy Neighbor?

Leviticus 19:18:  You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

Mark 12:31:  ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, v.2, pp.78-79 (Hadith):  The reverence of a neighbor incumbent on the neighbor is like the reverence due to one’s mother.”

I have a dilemma and think I am in big trouble.  I am having real difficulty in following the word of God as represented above by the Torah, the New Testament, and the Hadith of the Quran.

President Biden and a whole lot of other pundits and pontificators (let alone sacred texts) talk about how we can’t let this election divide us into conflicting  groups.  President Biden said, “you can’t love your neighbor only when you agree.”  I agree with that but that does not address the real issue here.

I’m able to have disagreements, arguments and debates with my friends and neighbors and still care for them.  When we’re talking about local issues, e.g., whether or not we need a higher school levy, whether we need more territory for our village, what’s the best tax policy, how and how much to regulate electric utilities or air and water whether to support Ukraine. Issues like these, where reasonable people can disagree, will not cause me to dislike or not “love” my neighbor.

Love here meaning respect and caring, not romantic love.

But what about when my neighbor enthusiastically votes (you know, signs, banners, flags, shrines in multiples) for Donald Trump?  My feeling is that neighbor has no trouble with a President who grabs women by the pussy, is a sexual predator, convicted as a corrupt businessman, has been proven to lie and cheat his workers and cheat on his taxes, has paid hush money through campaign funds to a porn star to cover up  sexual escapades, encouraged and promoted an insurrection against the United States, and, finally, wants to dismiss the Constitution.  That neighbor made the decision that, morality notwithstanding, Donald Trump was a better candidate. 

Given what that tells me about my neighbor’s attitudes and orientation, I’m not sure that I can “love” that neighbor, because their value system is radically different from mine.  I find my neighbor’s value system more than  just unpalatable; I find it intolerable.

Arguing about topics that are actually debatable  — yeah, there should be no huge animosity between people doing that.  But when it comes to fundamental moral values, I think that there’s every expectation that I cannot be good friends or “love” my neighbor when they have a completely different moral compass than mine.

Kamala Harris did not lose this election,  Donald Trump won.  He won the popular vote by a few million for the first time in forever for a Republican. He dam near won an outright majority — ok, not really, but close.  He got 49.9% of the total vote, but exceeded Kamala Harris’s total by 1.6%. He exceeded all expectations with Black men, Latinos, Jews, and just about every other group except college educated old people.   He won big.

That tells me that a plurality of voters (but less than 50%) made the same value decision.  My neighbor weighed the character of the candidates against whatever specific issues were important to him/her and character lost big.

That, my friends, is the crux of the matter.  We have, with the help of the press/media, normalized the behavior that Trump exhibits and celebrates.  We have normalized the hatred, we have normalized the ridiculing of disabled people, the demonization of ethnic groups and immigrants, and the lying, cheating and stealing.  And on top of that, we have normalized sexual predation.  My Trump-enthusiastic neighbors helped that to happen and therefore provided tacit support for such behavior.

As a father of two daughters, I can’t abide that.  No one gets a pass on sexual abuse.  No one, not the President of the United States, not any politician or Priest, Minister, Rabbi, or Imam.  No one.  In this world of gray, it is one of the few absolutes.  This one is not up for any damn debate.  So, I struggle to respect, let alone “love,” my neighbors who support such a political candidate enthusiastically.  Will I help them if their house catches fire or they take a hard fall on the driveway?  Yes, I will, well, I probably will, I think. I hope.  Will I want to socialize with them or chat with them?  Not a chance.

I do not agree with those who say I have to “love” a neighbor who believes that stuff is OK.  Because it’s not OK.  Under no circumstances is it acceptable.  Even if inflation has been high.  Even if desperate people are entering the country illegally.  Even if I think my taxes are too high.  Even if I do not like the policies of the opponent.  It just is never OK.  There is no excuse, no justification for supporting that behavior. .  As far as I am concerned those neighbors do not deserve respect or caring from me as their enthusiastic support for Trump demonstrates a clear lack of respect and caring for others.  I just cannot bring myself to  “love” any of my neighbors who think that behavior is just fine.  Just cannot fucking do it.

The fact that the press/media and a lot of the country have normalized Mr. Trump’s peculiarities, foibles, criminality, and lack of sexual mores does not make it right nor acceptable.  I am not fooled.  He is not a good guy.  He is not someone I would want as a neighbor.

So for all of you who are ascribing to the idea that we have to figure out how to “love” one another, I have to moderate that attitude with the idea that you can only “love”and respect those people who are capable of loving oand respecting others.  Based on their actions and behaviors, a fair chunk (a sizable minority?  A slim majority?) of Mr. Trump’s supporters  do not fit that description, and I have no reason to believe that will change.

So, please tell me how I am supposed to “love” my neighbor, the enthusiastic Trump supporter, because I cannot figure it out.  I am surprised by being  uncomfortable sitting on the wrong side of the Supreme Being’s commandments.  But that is how I feel and I understand that this attitude will make me a bad person in the eyes of some.  I guess I will have to learn to live with that.